Had a chat with my fren today. And something she said made me started thinking.

In a relationship, after a long time, we discover more and more things about our partner. And we tend to discover things that they don't like about us too. So its like we'll need to change to be the good wife to them. But then, it wont be who you are, but someone that other people would like. Having to cater to other people's like and dislike, but not being true to our own nature.

I feel that sometimes the change is needed. Like when you have your own kids, you have to change your lifestyle, your character for them. No more everyday clubbing, heading out as and when you please, have to be more patient......


But when it comes to relationships, if we ask the other party to change, there comes the question, "Why should you change me when it's me you fall in love with?"


Through every chapter in life, we grow. More matured, more experience. And that mold us into who we are today. But do you like who you are now??


I don't like to cater to other's people thinking. Because I don't find anything wrong with being myself. Even more I hate people who acts differently when they are with different groups of people. Or that should be what they say, hypocrite.


But its not easy to be yourself. Because not everyone may like who you are. And even if you don't mind, there will always be pressure coming from your spouse, family or friends.


I'm having a lot of quarrels with Gordan lately. And all that is making me have second thoughts about our relationship. I almost left him that day. Walking out, i suddenly felt that I can't leave because I still love him a lot. But being in the relationship, its really taking a toll on me. Plus I have to take care of baby, and may be going back to work soon, my stress level is at a all time high.


There are a lot of things I wanted him to change. Its because I feel that the changes are to mold him to be a good father and husband. However, the changes are not what he had wanted. And that made me think, was I wrong to ask of that? Am I selfish?


Or maybe I should just bear everything, even if it makes me unhappy, as long as people around me are happy?

I really feel like I'm gonna break down any time soon...

I hate this year's CNY.

Is it so hard to get the happiness that I am looking for????

Hi guys I'm back!!!

After so many days of sleepless nights, I finally can announce that

MY BLOGSHOP IS OPENED!!

LiL-OniOn

Please support ok??? Let me earn a bit diaper money for Tyler...

Tyler just had his injection that day, then had slight fever, but now ok liao. He's now 5.8kg liao lor!! Damn heavy la, carry till my wrist also hurts.. And my aunt still ask me why I let him be so fat.. Also not I want de, he hungry then I feed lor, or else so young go for diet meh???

But he's damn cute now la, especially his double chin!!! hahahhaaa...

CNY is coming liao, I really don't feel like going out on CNY. Especially since I have to go Gordan's grandma there... But bo bian!


Still I'm looking forward to eat bak kwa!! I've been craving for it for don't know how long le lor...

Anyway hope you all collect lots of angbaos k? (Paiseh, Tyler's feeding time liao!!)

Met up with Enling yesterday. Finally she's back from America...

Its been so long since I last saw her lah, although she also never really change a lot, only that hair longer only. Finally got 1 more person can accompany me liao.. hahhaa....

Sorry guys, I've been just TOO BUSY lately!!!!

Promise to update soon k???

BY THE WAY.....

Tyler is 2 months liao!

I'll be back real soon with more juicy updates!!

My baby had his haircut again, isn't he cute???

Seems like he is happy with his hairstyle too.....hehehe..

I went to Ang Mo Kio Hub yesterday. First time went there, and it is HUGE!!! But the entire building only 3rd floor got nursing room. So ma fan lor, have to go up and down....

Of all the places I went to, the best nursing room have to be the one at United Square, its so big and comfortable. Airport one is quite nice too but a bit too stuffy inside. The worst nursing rooms??? Found in a lot of places, they always like to put the board inside the handicapped toilet for changing nappy only, then somewhere in the building, one of the floors will have a very nice nursing room. But in the entire building, only 1 lor!! Can't they put it at all the levels so its easier for people?? And somemore the handicapped toilet is so dirty sometimes.

Anyway, I managed to get a dress for CNY! (Finally lor...)

Took in the dressing room..

Nice right?? And only $29 only lor.. Although there is sale everywhere now, but I still find the clothes are so expensive!!!! Want to find anything below $20 also difficult lor....

Headed to my grandma's house at night, while Gordan went to play basketball.

Entertaining myself while baby is sleeping..

Yesterday Gordan was very funny la. He kept disturbing me, saying I look so like pornstar, from the way I dress yesterday. I was like wearing a normal tank top, and shorts and shoes lor.. The only special thing was that I tied my hair into 2 ponytails. So I guess he is imagining me as the schoolgirl type you see in porn. Think I've been depriving him too much liao, so he's imagining things liao...hahhahaa...

A funny photo of Tyler to end this post.. He look damn comical in this la...hahhaha

Have a nice day!

Chinese New Year is coming liao, and I hate it this year. Normally my CNY is spent either at my grandma house or mahjong with the girls. But this year got to go to Gordan's grandma house. Frankly, I hate crowds. I hate being stuck in a room filled with people that I don't really know. And its difficult for me to start any conversation with anyone too, especially with all the things that they don't know about me and I can't say also. Lots and lots of things I hate, but have to pretend that I'm ok. Fuck lor..


Anyway after the tormenting CNY, then its gonna be Valentine's Day, and maybe SuWen is giving birth soon then its gonna be MY 21ST BIRTHDAY!!!!


No big bash, cause also not so many people to invite. Somemore got Tyler around, I can't drink too. So I guess it's just gonna be a boring 21st birthday for me. Was chatting with Enling that day and she was asking me what present I want, ask me to post on my blog, so here goes.....


I'm very practical de you all should know, so cash will be the best la!!! Hahahah... other than that, I want to cover up my tattoo so if anyone can sponser me... hehehhee..... But won't be cheap hor, so think properly before you say ok! Actually I don't mind any presents la, its the thoughts that counts ma, so anything you give me I will be happy de...


Super want to cover up my tattoo la, but its gonna be huge, stretching to half of my back so that means it will be expensive! Have to save and save den can do, sob sob.. But I will make sure get it done before next year I get married.


Oh ya, by the way, I'm going to get married next year liao wor!!! Probably around May ba, cause its a special month for me and Gordan. But won't be anything huge, just chalet and buffet. Damn excited now la, although its still 1 year later!


Some updates on Tyler.. He's weighing 5.2kg at 6 weeks now. Still as chubby as ever!!! And always like to pretend cry lor, act ke lian.. Other than he's occasional don't want to sleep at night, he's still quite guai la, so I'm happy liao.


I'm looking forward to seeing my god daughter too, don't know when she is coming out la.. Maybe wait same birthday with me.. hahahaha...


Anyway hope you all enjoy your New Year k? Collect lots of angbaos and eat till you burst!!! hhahahahahaha....